1
00:00:06,666 --> 00:00:08,363
- Hi, I'm Patrick Star!

2
00:00:08,450 --> 00:00:11,148
And I live with my parents.

3
00:00:11,236 --> 00:00:11,975
Ow!

4
00:00:12,062 --> 00:00:13,890
This is my dad.

5
00:00:13,977 --> 00:00:15,849
[wacky music]

6
00:00:15,936 --> 00:00:17,894
This is my mom.

7
00:00:17,981 --> 00:00:19,548
? ?

8
00:00:19,635 --> 00:00:22,072
This is my sister.
She's shy.

9
00:00:22,159 --> 00:00:24,249
This is my grandpa.

10
00:00:24,336 --> 00:00:26,947
This is my room!

11
00:00:27,034 --> 00:00:29,906
And this...

12
00:00:29,993 --> 00:00:33,432
this is my show!

13
00:00:33,519 --> 00:00:34,998
? ?

14
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:39,916
[peaceful music]

15
00:00:40,003 --> 00:00:41,918
- [yawns]

16
00:00:42,005 --> 00:00:46,183
? ?

17
00:00:48,838 --> 00:00:50,840
Whee!

18
00:00:50,927 --> 00:00:53,278
Cock-a-doodle-doo!

19
00:00:54,627 --> 00:00:57,891
- [panting]

20
00:00:57,978 --> 00:00:59,632
Huh?

21
00:00:59,719 --> 00:01:00,894
- [snoring]

22
00:01:00,981 --> 00:01:02,112
- Patrick?

23
00:01:02,199 --> 00:01:04,898
- [grunts, giggles]

24
00:01:06,813 --> 00:01:08,293
- Patrick!

25
00:01:10,860 --> 00:01:14,429
- [continues snoring]

26
00:01:14,516 --> 00:01:17,954
- Come on, Patrick.
The show must go on.

27
00:01:18,041 --> 00:01:19,565
[coughing]

28
00:01:19,652 --> 00:01:22,655
Coming to you from
the Star family home,

29
00:01:22,742 --> 00:01:25,222
It's time for...

30
00:01:25,310 --> 00:01:28,138
"The Patrick Show"!

31
00:01:28,225 --> 00:01:31,533
And here
is your wide-awake host...

32
00:01:31,620 --> 00:01:34,319
- Me!
[triumphant music]

33
00:01:34,406 --> 00:01:36,190
Today, I'm gonna show you

34
00:01:36,277 --> 00:01:38,845
some great miniature golf tips.

35
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,934
Fore!

36
00:01:41,021 --> 00:01:42,892
Five...

37
00:01:42,979 --> 00:01:44,546
nine...

38
00:01:44,633 --> 00:01:46,026
[grunts]

39
00:01:47,854 --> 00:01:49,290
- [gasps]

40
00:01:52,075 --> 00:01:55,949
- This would probably
work better with a golf club.

41
00:01:56,036 --> 00:01:57,342
I'll be right back.

42
00:02:00,345 --> 00:02:02,912
Take it away, Squidina.

43
00:02:02,999 --> 00:02:06,002
- Patrick, you know I have
stage-4 stage fright!

44
00:02:06,089 --> 00:02:08,048
[whimpers]

45
00:02:08,135 --> 00:02:09,310
[crickets chirp,
audience coughs]

46
00:02:09,397 --> 00:02:11,530
[laughs nervously]

47
00:02:11,617 --> 00:02:13,445
- [laughing]

48
00:02:13,532 --> 00:02:15,447
Huh?

49
00:02:16,796 --> 00:02:18,275
Oh, hi, GrandPat!

50
00:02:18,363 --> 00:02:20,147
Just going upstairs.

51
00:02:20,234 --> 00:02:21,714
- Greetings, grandson!

52
00:02:21,801 --> 00:02:24,630
Just going downstairs.
There we go.

53
00:02:24,717 --> 00:02:26,327
- I'm just gonna go get some--
- Please step aside.

54
00:02:26,414 --> 00:02:27,546
- Please step aside.
- What?

55
00:02:27,633 --> 00:02:30,244
- What? No--
both: No, you step aside.

56
00:02:30,331 --> 00:02:32,377
- Age before ugly.

57
00:02:32,464 --> 00:02:33,987
- Pearls before swine.

58
00:02:34,074 --> 00:02:37,164
- I before thee!

59
00:02:37,251 --> 00:02:39,296
- I'm sorry, GrandPat,

60
00:02:39,384 --> 00:02:41,864
but Dad always told me...

61
00:02:41,951 --> 00:02:45,520
- Son, the best advice I could
ever give you is:

62
00:02:45,607 --> 00:02:47,304
"Never back down
from a 'stair off.'"

63
00:02:47,392 --> 00:02:48,958
- I told you that!

64
00:02:49,045 --> 00:02:51,265
That's my advice.

65
00:02:51,352 --> 00:02:52,701
- Ow! Oof! Ooh!

66
00:02:52,788 --> 00:02:54,442
- Well, I don't care
who said it first.

67
00:02:54,529 --> 00:02:56,836
I gotta get my golf club.

68
00:02:56,923 --> 00:02:59,926
- And I hate
the upstairs bathroom.

69
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:03,930
[both growling]

70
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,845
[both grunt]

71
00:03:11,938 --> 00:03:12,591
both: Eh?

72
00:03:18,248 --> 00:03:19,293
- En garde.

73
00:03:19,380 --> 00:03:21,164
- I'll unguard you.

74
00:03:23,210 --> 00:03:27,388
both: I challenge you
to a stair off!

75
00:03:27,475 --> 00:03:31,218
[both braying]

76
00:03:31,305 --> 00:03:32,175
[electricity crackling]

77
00:03:32,262 --> 00:03:35,309
- [laughing]

78
00:03:35,396 --> 00:03:39,008
[quirky music]

79
00:03:39,095 --> 00:03:40,923
- [grumbles]

80
00:03:41,010 --> 00:03:42,751
- [whines]

81
00:03:44,579 --> 00:03:47,887
Master, I was watching that.

82
00:03:47,974 --> 00:03:49,671
- Please.

83
00:03:49,758 --> 00:03:52,369
That show is made
by idiots for morons.

84
00:03:52,457 --> 00:03:54,459
- That's why I love it.

85
00:04:02,989 --> 00:04:05,078
- [groaning]

86
00:04:05,165 --> 00:04:06,427
Eyeball!

87
00:04:06,514 --> 00:04:08,211
- [laughing]

88
00:04:08,298 --> 00:04:09,822
- [growls]

89
00:04:09,909 --> 00:04:12,172
[both shrieking]

90
00:04:12,259 --> 00:04:13,434
[doorbell rings]

91
00:04:13,521 --> 00:04:15,131
both: ? Who is it? ?

92
00:04:15,218 --> 00:04:18,439
- [growls]

93
00:04:19,092 --> 00:04:21,181
- I'm home!

94
00:04:21,268 --> 00:04:22,835
[giggling]

95
00:04:22,922 --> 00:04:24,967
[mob cheers]

96
00:04:25,054 --> 00:04:26,882
- Ah, shut up!

97
00:04:26,969 --> 00:04:30,886
- Aww, what's the matter Dr. P?

98
00:04:30,973 --> 00:04:34,107
- Pat-gor is hogging
the remote again.

99
00:04:34,194 --> 00:04:37,806
- Well, I wanna watch
the idiots on the stairs.

100
00:04:37,893 --> 00:04:39,504
- Hmm.

101
00:04:39,591 --> 00:04:43,420
There must be a way to watch
two shows at the same time.

102
00:04:43,508 --> 00:04:46,249
Let me think.
- Ha-ha!

103
00:04:46,336 --> 00:04:47,729
You see, Pat-gor,

104
00:04:47,816 --> 00:04:50,384
now that I upgraded
the SpongeMonster

105
00:04:50,471 --> 00:04:52,517
with a genius brain,

106
00:04:52,604 --> 00:04:55,302
he can rationally
solve any problem.

107
00:04:55,389 --> 00:04:57,870
[cackling]

108
00:04:57,957 --> 00:05:00,263
Don't think too hard,
brainiac;

109
00:05:00,350 --> 00:05:01,482
you'll have a blowout.

110
00:05:01,569 --> 00:05:03,484
- [babbling]

111
00:05:03,571 --> 00:05:05,791
[explosion]

112
00:05:05,878 --> 00:05:07,444
- I told him.
- You did.

113
00:05:07,532 --> 00:05:08,750
- [grunts]

114
00:05:08,837 --> 00:05:12,014
[quirky music]

115
00:05:12,101 --> 00:05:18,412
? ?

116
00:05:18,499 --> 00:05:20,066
- I know exactly what to do.

117
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:22,068
- [groans]

118
00:05:22,155 --> 00:05:24,766
- Two shows at the same time.

119
00:05:24,853 --> 00:05:27,726
- Huzzah, master!
He is a genius.

120
00:05:27,813 --> 00:05:29,249
- Here you go!

121
00:05:29,336 --> 00:05:31,730
[both shouting]

122
00:05:31,817 --> 00:05:33,166
[electricity crackling]

123
00:05:33,253 --> 00:05:34,776
- Mm-hmm!

124
00:05:36,691 --> 00:05:39,476
[both groan]

125
00:05:41,217 --> 00:05:43,306
- Now back to
"The Patrick Show"!

126
00:05:43,393 --> 00:05:45,439
[triumphant music]

127
00:05:45,526 --> 00:05:47,310
[suspenseful music]

128
00:05:47,397 --> 00:05:49,225
? ?

129
00:05:49,312 --> 00:05:52,925
- Nobody's coming down
these stairs, soldier!

130
00:05:53,012 --> 00:05:55,667
- And nobody's going up them
either, dog face.

131
00:05:55,754 --> 00:05:57,233
- Hot stuff, coming through.

132
00:05:57,320 --> 00:05:58,887
I have to use
the downstairs bathroom.

133
00:05:58,974 --> 00:06:00,454
- Stand with me, son.

134
00:06:00,541 --> 00:06:03,805
And someday,
when this Neptune-forsaken war

135
00:06:03,892 --> 00:06:06,503
is over you'll use that
bathroom--

136
00:06:06,591 --> 00:06:07,940
right after me.

137
00:06:08,027 --> 00:06:09,637
- Stand with me, Father,

138
00:06:09,724 --> 00:06:12,771
and help
retrieveth my golf club.

139
00:06:12,858 --> 00:06:16,470
- Sorry, son.
But I really have to go.

140
00:06:16,557 --> 00:06:18,341
- Aww, Dad.

141
00:06:18,428 --> 00:06:22,781
? ?

142
00:06:22,868 --> 00:06:24,783
- We are in
the middle of a show.

143
00:06:24,870 --> 00:06:27,960
What are you doing?
- I need to get my golf club.

144
00:06:28,047 --> 00:06:31,311
And GrandPat won't
let me go upstairs.

145
00:06:31,398 --> 00:06:32,399
- [growls]

146
00:06:32,486 --> 00:06:34,575
- [sweetly] GrandPat?

147
00:06:34,662 --> 00:06:38,274
Patrick needs that club, which
means the show needs that club,

148
00:06:38,361 --> 00:06:40,320
which means
we're getting that club!

149
00:06:40,407 --> 00:06:41,756
[roars]

150
00:06:41,843 --> 00:06:43,366
- [whimpers]
- Uh-huh.

151
00:06:43,453 --> 00:06:44,585
[grunting] Here.

152
00:06:44,672 --> 00:06:45,891
[shouting]

153
00:06:45,978 --> 00:06:48,023
- Get 'em!
- Get 'em.

154
00:06:48,110 --> 00:06:50,243
[Squidina and GrandPat
cheering indistinctly]

155
00:06:50,330 --> 00:06:54,551
? ?

156
00:06:54,639 --> 00:06:57,380
- Patrick? Squidina?

157
00:06:57,467 --> 00:06:58,991
Anyone?

158
00:06:59,078 --> 00:07:01,733
I have important news!

159
00:07:01,820 --> 00:07:03,038
[screams]

160
00:07:08,914 --> 00:07:11,481
- Morning, Gladys.
- Morning, Bunny.

161
00:07:11,568 --> 00:07:13,919
- [grunting]

162
00:07:23,798 --> 00:07:26,453
- Mop up the floor with him!

163
00:07:26,540 --> 00:07:29,412
- [groaning] Patrick.

164
00:07:29,499 --> 00:07:30,457
[groans]

165
00:07:30,544 --> 00:07:31,545
- Oh!

166
00:07:31,632 --> 00:07:33,242
What is it, Mom?

167
00:07:33,329 --> 00:07:36,942
Tell us, what is it?
[whimpers]

168
00:07:38,030 --> 00:07:40,249
- I made jelly sandwiches!

169
00:07:40,336 --> 00:07:42,512
all: Yeah!

170
00:07:42,599 --> 00:07:44,689
[all munching]

171
00:07:45,254 --> 00:07:46,952
- This is Perch Perkins
coming to you live

172
00:07:47,039 --> 00:07:48,736
from a local suburban home

173
00:07:48,823 --> 00:07:51,608
where, after a brief ceasefire
for jelly sandwiches,

174
00:07:51,696 --> 00:07:54,699
a stair war
continues to escalate.

175
00:07:54,786 --> 00:07:59,138
- Will those who wanna go up
the stairs stand down?

176
00:07:59,225 --> 00:08:01,009
all: No!

177
00:08:01,096 --> 00:08:04,926
- Will those who want to go
down the stairs stand up?

178
00:08:05,013 --> 00:08:07,059
all: No!

179
00:08:07,146 --> 00:08:09,757
both: Then we shall clash.

180
00:08:11,716 --> 00:08:14,893
[all shouting]

181
00:08:31,039 --> 00:08:34,086
- Wow! This is the most
exciting stair war

182
00:08:34,173 --> 00:08:36,697
of all the stair wars
I've ever been to.

183
00:08:36,784 --> 00:08:38,917
Look out! Incoming bread!

184
00:08:39,004 --> 00:08:41,354
Sourdough!
Pumpernickel!

185
00:08:41,441 --> 00:08:43,138
[reporter shouting,
helicopter zooming]

186
00:08:44,531 --> 00:08:46,881
- [growls]

187
00:08:46,968 --> 00:08:49,231
- [growls]

188
00:08:51,103 --> 00:08:52,539
- Bread won't stop him.

189
00:08:52,626 --> 00:08:54,933
Time for plan B!

190
00:09:01,417 --> 00:09:02,375
[toilet growls]

191
00:09:02,462 --> 00:09:04,638
[shrieks]

192
00:09:04,725 --> 00:09:07,510
This is why I hate
the upstairs bathroom!

193
00:09:10,252 --> 00:09:13,734
Age before ugly!

194
00:09:13,821 --> 00:09:20,045
? ?

195
00:09:24,092 --> 00:09:28,357
- So we meet again, eh?

196
00:09:28,444 --> 00:09:30,490
Who are you?

197
00:09:30,577 --> 00:09:34,146
- I'm the one who's gonna make
you wish I wasn't your grandpa.

198
00:09:34,755 --> 00:09:36,975
- Wait! I know you.

199
00:09:37,062 --> 00:09:41,936
GrandPat!
[laughing]

200
00:09:42,023 --> 00:09:43,633
- Don't change the subject.

201
00:09:43,720 --> 00:09:45,461
I still want satisfaction.

202
00:09:45,548 --> 00:09:47,159
- Very well.

203
00:09:47,246 --> 00:09:48,464
We joust!

204
00:09:48,551 --> 00:09:51,206
[dramatic music]

205
00:09:51,293 --> 00:09:58,170
? ?

206
00:10:00,737 --> 00:10:03,479
[both shouting]

207
00:10:22,716 --> 00:10:24,239
- Hey, wait a minute.

208
00:10:24,326 --> 00:10:26,328
I've got something
caught in my teeth.

209
00:10:28,853 --> 00:10:31,159
Hey! My golf club!

210
00:10:32,726 --> 00:10:35,772
Hey, Squidina, I got my club!

211
00:10:35,860 --> 00:10:39,298
[laughing]

212
00:10:39,385 --> 00:10:42,736
[house rumbling]

213
00:10:42,823 --> 00:10:44,956
- [shouts]

214
00:10:51,049 --> 00:10:52,267
Huh?

215
00:10:53,442 --> 00:10:55,836
The downstairs bathroom!

216
00:10:55,923 --> 00:10:57,664
- Mustache before beard.

217
00:10:59,318 --> 00:11:00,623
- [groans]

218
00:11:00,710 --> 00:11:02,669
[whimpers]

219
00:11:02,756 --> 00:11:05,628
[wacky music]

220
00:11:05,715 --> 00:11:07,979
- Whoo-hoo!
And we're back.

221
00:11:08,066 --> 00:11:10,111
- And we're out of time.

222
00:11:10,198 --> 00:11:14,507
Tune in tomorrow for more fun
on "The Patrick Show"!

223
00:11:14,594 --> 00:11:15,856
See you then.

224
00:11:17,684 --> 00:11:18,815
- Oops.

225
00:11:20,774 --> 00:11:22,471
- Come on, wheel.

226
00:11:22,558 --> 00:11:24,430
Give me a good idea
for my show.

227
00:11:30,175 --> 00:11:32,612
Eel hats?

228
00:11:32,699 --> 00:11:35,832
Well, I guess we could do
a fashion episode.

229
00:11:35,920 --> 00:11:38,879
[shouts]

230
00:11:41,186 --> 00:11:43,449
Well, that's no good.
[harrumphs]

231
00:11:43,536 --> 00:11:45,059
Who knew making TV shows

232
00:11:45,146 --> 00:11:48,106
would be harder
than watching TV shows?

233
00:11:49,890 --> 00:11:50,978
Uh-oh.

234
00:11:51,065 --> 00:11:52,937
- Morning.
[shouts]

235
00:11:53,024 --> 00:11:57,202
Patrick, how's the ole
creative process going?

236
00:11:57,289 --> 00:11:59,508
- Terrible!

237
00:11:59,595 --> 00:12:03,121
I've been spinning all morning,
and I still got nothing.

238
00:12:04,296 --> 00:12:05,862
- Hmm.

239
00:12:05,950 --> 00:12:07,908
Uh-huh.

240
00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:11,390
Well, I'm sure he'll come up
with a neat show idea, like...

241
00:12:11,477 --> 00:12:13,914
[music box tune playing,
engine humming]

242
00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:15,960
- Ice cream!

243
00:12:16,047 --> 00:12:17,744
- [groans]

244
00:12:17,831 --> 00:12:19,876
? ?

245
00:12:19,964 --> 00:12:24,142
- Well, looks like we're doing
another ice cream show!

246
00:12:24,229 --> 00:12:26,187
- ? Who's the peanut
with a man inside ?

247
00:12:26,274 --> 00:12:27,580
? That sings
your favorite song? ?

248
00:12:27,667 --> 00:12:28,929
? Who's got sweets
and frozen treats ?

249
00:12:29,016 --> 00:12:30,844
? That you can spend
your money on? ?

250
00:12:30,931 --> 00:12:32,150
? Who's your favorite
ice cream man ?

251
00:12:32,237 --> 00:12:33,978
? From now until you're gone? ?

252
00:12:34,065 --> 00:12:35,718
children:
? The Goober truck guy! ?

253
00:12:35,805 --> 00:12:37,503
[slurping]

254
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:38,895
- ? Who shows you how to... ?
Ah!

255
00:12:38,983 --> 00:12:41,637
It's him. Sweet Neptune!

256
00:12:41,724 --> 00:12:44,118
[cowering]
- I'll take a Sweet Neptune.

257
00:12:44,205 --> 00:12:48,122
? ?

258
00:12:48,209 --> 00:12:51,691
[light music]

259
00:12:51,778 --> 00:12:55,173
? ?

260
00:12:55,260 --> 00:12:57,262
- [gasps]

261
00:12:57,349 --> 00:12:59,438
[chomps]

262
00:13:01,005 --> 00:13:02,919
[gobbling] Ah!

263
00:13:03,007 --> 00:13:05,270
[cackles]

264
00:13:09,578 --> 00:13:12,929
[munching]

265
00:13:13,017 --> 00:13:16,585
- The horror. The horror!

266
00:13:16,672 --> 00:13:18,935
[warbles]

267
00:13:22,069 --> 00:13:24,550
- Ice cream!

268
00:13:26,334 --> 00:13:28,684
- The horror!

269
00:13:32,123 --> 00:13:34,603
- Looks like you made
quite the impression.

270
00:13:34,690 --> 00:13:35,909
? ?

271
00:13:35,996 --> 00:13:39,260
[crickets chirp]

272
00:13:42,611 --> 00:13:44,918
- Now that that's over...
- Hmm?

273
00:13:45,005 --> 00:13:47,399
- We're live in five, four,

274
00:13:47,486 --> 00:13:49,923
three, two...
[mouths word]

275
00:13:50,010 --> 00:13:51,620
- Oh, no.

276
00:13:51,707 --> 00:13:55,450
There is no show
until I get my ice cream.

277
00:13:59,106 --> 00:14:03,545
Mean old ice cream man!
I'm gonna get your ice cream.

278
00:14:03,632 --> 00:14:06,026
- Guess if you want
something done,

279
00:14:06,113 --> 00:14:07,593
sometimes you have
to take matters

280
00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:09,421
into your own tentacles.

281
00:14:09,508 --> 00:14:11,771
The show must go on.

282
00:14:11,858 --> 00:14:14,382
[grunting]

283
00:14:14,469 --> 00:14:18,082
[as Patrick] Welcome
to "The Patrick Show"!

284
00:14:18,169 --> 00:14:21,172
Today, we are talking
about...uh...

285
00:14:21,259 --> 00:14:23,870
uh, oh--enemies.

286
00:14:23,957 --> 00:14:26,699
I got 'em. You got 'em.

287
00:14:26,786 --> 00:14:30,529
Sometimes, I'm my own sister's
enemy 'cause I go crazy

288
00:14:30,616 --> 00:14:33,227
and I ruin
all her hard work.

289
00:14:33,314 --> 00:14:36,143
Now, here's
a pre-recorded segment,

290
00:14:36,230 --> 00:14:40,060
from when I wasn't being
such a stubborn jerk.

291
00:14:40,147 --> 00:14:41,757
- Hey, there.

292
00:14:41,844 --> 00:14:44,456
Today we're looking at nature,

293
00:14:44,543 --> 00:14:46,936
which is, like, plants
and rocks

294
00:14:47,023 --> 00:14:49,069
and books and stuff,
I guess.

295
00:14:49,156 --> 00:14:52,420
Hey! There's my pet, Ouchie.

296
00:14:52,507 --> 00:14:54,161
He's natural.

297
00:14:54,248 --> 00:14:59,471
And he's got a big bowl
of yummy, tasty, urchin food.

298
00:14:59,558 --> 00:15:04,389
And there's his
natural enemy, the sea bunny.

299
00:15:04,476 --> 00:15:06,130
I call him Pinkeye.

300
00:15:06,217 --> 00:15:08,219
- Ooh!
- Ooh, he's hungry!

301
00:15:08,306 --> 00:15:11,004
I wonder if Ouchie
will share?

302
00:15:11,091 --> 00:15:13,920
Mother says sharing is caring,

303
00:15:14,007 --> 00:15:18,142
but she never wants to share
her lipstick with me.

304
00:15:18,229 --> 00:15:20,970
Whoa!
Let's see what happens next.

305
00:15:21,057 --> 00:15:22,537
Probably nothing.

306
00:15:22,624 --> 00:15:24,104
Nature's boring!

307
00:15:24,191 --> 00:15:25,714
Heh-heh, get him, Ouchie.

308
00:15:25,801 --> 00:15:27,020
- [growling]

309
00:15:27,107 --> 00:15:28,935
Ow! [babbles]
- Oh, no!

310
00:15:29,022 --> 00:15:32,504
One time, I got my tongue
stuck in a trap like that.

311
00:15:32,591 --> 00:15:35,333
If I ever find out who
put that cheese on there...

312
00:15:35,420 --> 00:15:36,638
Whoa!

313
00:15:36,725 --> 00:15:38,249
Look out, Ouchie.

314
00:15:38,336 --> 00:15:39,815
Look out, house!

315
00:15:39,902 --> 00:15:41,600
Look out, world!

316
00:15:41,687 --> 00:15:42,862
Look out!

317
00:15:42,949 --> 00:15:44,951
Oh, that's it.

318
00:15:45,038 --> 00:15:47,214
I guess we live
in a duplex now.

319
00:15:47,301 --> 00:15:49,129
- Hmm!
- Heh! [blows raspberry]

320
00:15:50,478 --> 00:15:53,307
- Rockets? Cool!

321
00:15:55,962 --> 00:15:57,833
Boy, oh, boy!

322
00:15:57,920 --> 00:16:01,228
Nature isn't boring.
It's got chase scenes.

323
00:16:01,707 --> 00:16:05,101
- All right, Patrick.
Ready to host yet?

324
00:16:05,189 --> 00:16:07,365
It's almost the top of the hour

325
00:16:07,452 --> 00:16:09,845
and you still gotta
plug the sponsors.

326
00:16:09,932 --> 00:16:11,020
- [grunts]

327
00:16:11,107 --> 00:16:13,066
I'm not plugging anything

328
00:16:13,153 --> 00:16:15,764
except my mouth hole
with ice cream.

329
00:16:19,725 --> 00:16:22,249
- Fine! I guess I'll shoot
some guest spots as filler.

330
00:16:28,081 --> 00:16:30,823
Hey, mom.
Do you have any enemies?

331
00:16:30,910 --> 00:16:33,869
- Well, of course not dear.

332
00:16:33,956 --> 00:16:36,785
I love everybody!

333
00:16:39,571 --> 00:16:42,791
Huh? [yelps]

334
00:16:42,878 --> 00:16:46,447
Oh, but this toaster is
really starting to tick me off!

335
00:16:46,534 --> 00:16:49,929
[grunting]

336
00:16:50,016 --> 00:16:52,888
[toast boinging]

337
00:16:56,892 --> 00:16:59,373
[grunting]

338
00:17:01,419 --> 00:17:03,856
[humming]

339
00:17:06,511 --> 00:17:08,382
[grumbles]

340
00:17:11,516 --> 00:17:13,039
[shouts]

341
00:17:17,435 --> 00:17:18,305
Hmm?

342
00:17:18,392 --> 00:17:20,394
Oh, I see the problem now.

343
00:17:22,309 --> 00:17:24,485
I forgot to plug it in.

344
00:17:24,572 --> 00:17:26,357
[laughing]

345
00:17:29,534 --> 00:17:33,581
- Thanks for displaying grace
under pressure, Mom.

346
00:17:33,668 --> 00:17:36,192
- Oh, I always have Grace
on display.

347
00:17:36,280 --> 00:17:37,846
No pressure needed.

348
00:17:37,933 --> 00:17:39,544
[glass shatters]

349
00:17:39,631 --> 00:17:41,981
[humming]

350
00:17:44,592 --> 00:17:46,420
- Oh, no.

351
00:17:46,507 --> 00:17:48,509
- I'm gonna get your ice cream.

352
00:17:48,596 --> 00:17:52,861
? ?

353
00:17:56,212 --> 00:17:59,085
If this keeps up,
I'm gonna lose my lunch.

354
00:17:59,172 --> 00:18:01,348
Oh, boy! Lunchtime.

355
00:18:03,002 --> 00:18:05,439
[shouts]

356
00:18:05,526 --> 00:18:07,441
Aww...that was gonna
to tide me over

357
00:18:07,528 --> 00:18:09,182
till I got some ice cream!

358
00:18:09,269 --> 00:18:12,968
[warbling wildly]

359
00:18:16,624 --> 00:18:18,234
- [grunting]

360
00:18:18,322 --> 00:18:21,281
- GrandPat? I'm doing a segment
for Patrick's show.

361
00:18:21,368 --> 00:18:23,805
Do you have any enemies?

362
00:18:23,892 --> 00:18:25,329
- Enemies?

363
00:18:25,416 --> 00:18:28,549
At my age,
your only enemy is time.

364
00:18:31,857 --> 00:18:34,903
That's why I get
symbolic satisfaction

365
00:18:34,990 --> 00:18:36,644
from smashin' clocks.

366
00:18:36,731 --> 00:18:39,168
[cuckoo cooing]

367
00:18:39,255 --> 00:18:44,173
Now, grab a hammer and laugh
in Father Time's face with me!

368
00:18:44,260 --> 00:18:45,871
[triumphant music]

369
00:18:45,958 --> 00:18:48,047
[both cackling]

370
00:18:48,134 --> 00:18:55,010
? ?

371
00:19:00,059 --> 00:19:02,453
[both laughing]

372
00:19:04,411 --> 00:19:06,326
- Mm-hmm! That'll learn 'em!

373
00:19:09,547 --> 00:19:11,418
[alarm clock ringing]

374
00:19:11,505 --> 00:19:13,333
- [pouts]
- Aww.

375
00:19:13,420 --> 00:19:15,074
What's the matter, son?

376
00:19:15,161 --> 00:19:18,947
- That darn ice cream man
won't give me any ice cream.

377
00:19:19,034 --> 00:19:20,558
- Hmm.

378
00:19:20,645 --> 00:19:25,171
Sounds like the non-dairy days
of ice cream prohibition.

379
00:19:25,258 --> 00:19:26,433
Dark times, they were.

380
00:19:26,520 --> 00:19:28,479
[old-timey music]

381
00:19:28,566 --> 00:19:31,133
The lactose intolerance
movement

382
00:19:31,220 --> 00:19:33,832
had just banned
the sale of ice cream.

383
00:19:36,182 --> 00:19:38,271
- [sneezes]

384
00:19:40,273 --> 00:19:43,755
- With every ice cream parlor
closed,

385
00:19:43,842 --> 00:19:47,454
I started going
to sweet-easies.

386
00:19:49,935 --> 00:19:52,154
Oh!

387
00:19:55,897 --> 00:19:59,640
? ?

388
00:19:59,727 --> 00:20:01,686
[alarm blares, crowd shouts]

389
00:20:01,773 --> 00:20:03,644
And if they caught you

390
00:20:03,731 --> 00:20:06,647
with so much
as a sample size scoop,

391
00:20:06,734 --> 00:20:09,607
they threw you in the slammer

392
00:20:09,694 --> 00:20:12,261
and only fed you prunes.

393
00:20:13,959 --> 00:20:16,440
That's where I learned
to like prunes.

394
00:20:19,704 --> 00:20:21,183
- Uh...
- [gulps]

395
00:20:21,270 --> 00:20:23,272
Yep. In those days,

396
00:20:23,359 --> 00:20:24,709
you had to know someone

397
00:20:24,796 --> 00:20:27,668
who could get you
the cold stuff on the sly.

398
00:20:27,755 --> 00:20:30,018
- Hey, I know someones!

399
00:20:30,105 --> 00:20:31,716
My sister!

400
00:20:33,587 --> 00:20:34,675
- Wait! I meant, I have...

401
00:20:34,762 --> 00:20:37,983
some...ice cream right here.

402
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:39,332
Oh, well.

403
00:20:41,595 --> 00:20:44,380
Oh, prune-flavored!

404
00:20:47,688 --> 00:20:49,516
- Huh? Patrick, what are you--

405
00:20:49,603 --> 00:20:52,650
- Shush! It's coming!

406
00:20:52,737 --> 00:20:55,087
- Ah. Well, hello, young lady.

407
00:20:55,174 --> 00:20:57,176
Would you like
some ice cream today?

408
00:20:57,263 --> 00:21:02,050
- Two choco gonzo goobers.
- Eh, what the bush said.

409
00:21:02,137 --> 00:21:04,270
- Yep, that's an awful lot
of ice cream

410
00:21:04,357 --> 00:21:05,532
for such a little girl.

411
00:21:05,619 --> 00:21:07,055
- Oh, they're not for me.

412
00:21:07,142 --> 00:21:09,710
They're for my big brother.
- [babbling]

413
00:21:09,797 --> 00:21:11,495
- Big brother? Oh, no!

414
00:21:11,582 --> 00:21:13,932
- [shouts]

415
00:21:14,019 --> 00:21:15,803
Ice cream!

416
00:21:18,197 --> 00:21:20,416
[both struggling]

417
00:21:20,504 --> 00:21:21,722
Ice cream!

418
00:21:25,857 --> 00:21:28,163
Ice cream! Ice cream!

419
00:21:28,250 --> 00:21:29,513
Ice cream!

420
00:21:29,600 --> 00:21:32,167
- My Goober Mobile.

421
00:21:32,254 --> 00:21:33,212
Get back here!

422
00:21:33,299 --> 00:21:34,779
- Mmm!

423
00:21:37,738 --> 00:21:40,001
- I shouldn't have
unplugged it!

424
00:21:40,088 --> 00:21:42,090
[shouts]

425
00:21:42,177 --> 00:21:44,353
- Laugh in Father Time's face,
will ya?

426
00:21:44,440 --> 00:21:46,573
[shouting and whooshing]

427
00:21:47,792 --> 00:21:50,882
- Oh! Uh...that's our show.

428
00:21:50,969 --> 00:21:52,666
I hope you learned a lot
about enemies.

429
00:21:52,753 --> 00:21:55,495
Or ice cream.
Or toaster repair?

430
00:21:56,496 --> 00:21:58,193
See you next time.

431
00:21:58,280 --> 00:22:01,109
[wacky music]

432
00:22:01,196 --> 00:22:05,196
? ?

433
00:22:05,246 --> 00:22:09,796
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